Shraddha Kapoor and Aditya Roy Kapur spill the beans on urban relationships
‘OK Jaanu’s’ lead pair, Aditya Roy Kapur and Shraddha Kapoor, ahead of the release of their film, while sharing a cup of black coffee, talk about the youth’s perception of love and relationships…
How much do you relate with the core idea of ‘OK Jaanu’ that dwells on the complexities of an urban relationship?
Shraddha : Times have changed. It’s not like what it used to be in our parents times. I think there is a lot of commitment phobia. I also probably feel that way. I am capable of it too. It’s a prevalent dilemma. Our parents were quicker when it came to deciding on that one person they’d spend their life with. People now take longer to get that far in a relationship. It’s more self-centric now. Nowadays, in a relationship, we put ourselves before everything.
Aditya : That’s what makes our film relevant. Cinema is a reflection of our reality. And live-in relationships are on the rise, and that is why more writers are dwelling on the subject. I have so many friends in live-in relationships. And people are playing their cards closer to their chest. They think aspirations might get interrupted because their relationships might get into the way. So, they are guarded about how much to give to a relationship at one time. The reason we agreed to do the film was that it dwelled on the subject without being preachy.
Not too many parents subscribe to the idea of their children moving in with their partners. What do you think?
Aditya : True. There aren’t many parents who’d let their kids do that. To each his own. I don’t know the pitfalls and the pluses because I haven’t been in a live-in myself. But I have seen my friends who have been in such spaces. In some cases, it has quickened the process of ending a relationship. When you live in, you supposedly do everything that you’re meant to do in a set-up where you live as a couple. That doesn’t make it any less or more sinful. For some of my friends, a live-in has only given them more clarity, and they have stayed in that relationship for years. Marriage is a man-made concept and everyone doesn’t have to subscribe to it. I believe in it, but it might not work for everyone.
Shraddha : While I agree with the point he’s making, I do know of a rare breed of parents who appreciate their kids living in with their partners. One of my friends’ mothers told her to live in with her boyfriend before rushing into a marriage. So some parents can be liberal. But, again that’s a rarity.
If you find a partner, would you give your relationship a shot the way your characters do in ‘OK Jaanu’?
Shraddha: If and when I find that person that I love and want to spend time with, I’d be open to the idea of living in and figuring how it works for us.
Aditya : I’m game too. It might be a positive way of exploring a relationship, though it has to be at the right place and the right time and for a person who I want to do that with
What if your parents disapprove? How much does their consent and happiness matter in this case?
Aditya: What’s the point of rocking the boat there? Why make parents unhappy for something like that? You want your parents to be happy. It’s important. And they will be happy if they know that a certain decision makes us happy.
Shraddha: My parents are protective of me. As I am growing up, even my relationship with them is also evolving. They’ve begun to see me as a grown-up girl. Of course, for them, I will always be a baby. But with every passing day, we’re discovering something new about our relationship. My happiness is what matters to them.
Your film revolves around the youth and its perception of relationships. Do you think the older generation feels that this generation is probably on a shakier ground than theirs?
Aditya: That’s the lay of the land. The younger generations have historically been too damned by the older generations. My dad will always feel that the way they did things was better. It’s like the Woody Allen film, ‘Midnight in Paris’, where as they go into the past, it only seems better. I think the past can always look better with rose tinted glasses.
Shraddha: There is an interesting overlap here. Both generations feel that the other is at an advantage. Like the older generation feels great that we have such a lot technical advantage; we can stay in touch a lot more easily than they did.
This generation is blessed with technology, but doesn’t it also take a toll on relationships?
Shraddha : I’ve begun to stay away from my phone. Some distance needs to be maintained from devices…I’ve realised this generation needs to have a long distance relationship with its phones.
Aditya : Superficially, we’re more connected but I don’t know if actually we are. It’s become easier to stay in touch all over the world. We are messaging all the time. Every three minutes, my friend sitting in a room with me is checking his phone. We don’t give each other that real time. Sometimes, it keeps you in a state of inertia. You keep rotten friendships going. When you sit with each other, you don’t know what do to with certain people. Maybe this state of relationships has something to do with our work. But the harder you try to maintain the zillion friendships you virtually create, the tougher it is on you man!
Shraddha : Recently, we went to a restaurant for dinner and decided we will take one picture, and put our phones away. It was almost like rediscovering each other. By the end of it, everyone seemed so refreshed.
Aditya : The next time, when I sit with my friends, we will keep all our phones in a room and we’re not checking them for at least two hours. And then, we’ll talk as much as we want. That’s where you’ll discover where you’ve reached with your friendships, and whether they are really for keeps. We have to stop having a relationship with our phones. Our interpersonal skills are getting weaker. We create an alternate personality that sends the right smilies and uses the right lingo on chat messages. It becomes easier to talk over messages than in person. That shouldn’t happen.