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How to deal with a coworker you literally can’t stand

The Devil Wears Prada How to Deal with a Coworker You Literally Can't StandYou can't choose your coworkers, but you can choose your wine...

© Official Facebook/The Devil Wears Prada How to Deal with a Coworker You Literally Can’t StandYou can’t choose your coworkers, but you can choose your wine…We’re kidding, but seriously, work is stressful enough on its own without office politics. Whether it’s dealing with the little things or just a plain toxic monster, a strained relationship with a colleague won’t just wear you down—it will inevitably wreak havoc on your work performance. Here, find expert tips for dealing with it the best you way you can (because a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon alone won’t do the trick).

Define what your “case” is against this person

Much like lawyers, we develop a case by accumulating evidence and find others who validate our points. “What we sometimes fail to realise is that our own case building keeps the challenging dynamics in play and keeps us struggling,” explains Meredith Haberfeld, co-founder of the Institute for Coaching. To start to shift the dynamics, consider:

  • When did you start making a case against this person?
  • What’s your evidence? Make a list about what you don’t like about them and all the evidence that you have collected.
  • Why do you feel justified in making them wrong?

Separate the hard facts versus your interpretation

When we combine facts with our interpretations, it yields a jumbled reality.

Example:

“Since August, Jane responds to my voice messages with emails and rather than calling me back.”

Interpretation:

“Jane avoids talking to me””It takes separating our interpretations, no matter how many people we find who agree with our interpretations, from the facts and data to begin to shake the dynamics loose,” explains Haberfeld.

 

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